November 17, 2011 by admin
Filed under Eulogies for Especially Tragic or Unexpected Deaths, How to write a eulogy
It is always difficult to lose a loved one. Some deaths, however, are especially tragic such as a violent death, the death of a child or a very unexpected death. Delivering a eulogy in such cases can be very difficult. Sometimes, the death just seems so overwhelmingly sad and unfair, that coming up with the words to say can seem next to impossible. Here are some things to keep in mind when writing a eulogy for this type of situation.
Celebrate the Life
This advice is not only for especially difficult eulogies, but it certainly applies. It can be so difficult not to dwell on the tragedy, but doing so does not honor the person who has died. Instead, be sure to celebrate the life of the person being eulogized. He or she was so much more than the moment of death. Don’t dwell only on the moments of the tragedy. Instead, talk about the good moments the person enjoyed and shared with their loved ones.
In some cases, it may be appropriate to insert a teaching moment into the eulogy. For example, if a young person died from drug use and the service will be filled with his or her friends, it may be a good time to remind them that this did not have to happen. Of course, if you are unsure about how the family will feel about such wording, check with them first. Many will be willing to allow it because they don’t want their loved one’s death to have been in vain. If they think they can use this tragedy to save another life, they will do it.
Finally, it is important to find a way to offer hope. This will not always be easy, but if you can do it, it may help those who are overwhelmed with grief at least see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Even saying something such as, “The hole left by this loss cannot be filled, but that doesn’t mean that the pain you feel today will last always. One day, you will be able to talk about (insert name) without crying. You will be able to remember the good times without those memories being tarnished by crushing pain.”
Don’t be afraid to tell happy or funny stories about the person’s life. The tragedy of the death doesn’t have to carry through in every moment of the service. As mentioned above, you are not only marking a death. You are also celebrating a life.