The Right Length for a Eulogy

When you begin to write a eulogy, you must keep in mind how long you want to make the eulogy. This will have an impact on how many details, anecdotes and quotes you include, so the length is something you should decide even before you start writing. Below are some things to keep in mind when deciding on the appropriate length.

Other Speakers

The first thing to consider is whether or not you will be the only speaker. If there are going to be several eulogies offered, it will be more important to keep yours brief. If, however, you are to be the main speaker or the only speaker, it may be appropriate to offer a eulogy that is a bit longer.

Venue/Formality of the Service

Once you know if you will be the only speaker, you should learn about the formality of the service. In general, a longer eulogy is appropriate if the venue and service is more formal while a casual service calls for a eulogy that is more concise.

Relationship with the Decedent

If many people are asked to speak a funeral, those people often represent different areas of the decedent’s life. For example, it may include family members, childhood friends and co-workers. Your relationship with the decedent should have some impact on the length of the eulogy. It would be appropriate for a family member to offer a longer eulogy while a co-worker would typically write a shorter eulogy.

There is not a “right” length for eulogy. You should not try to fill a set amount of time if doing so means that you have to use filler and useless anecdotes. Instead, say what you want to say as briefly as possible.

In most cases, a eulogy should not be any longer than 15 minutes. That is not a hard and fast rule, but a generality. Keep in mind that there will be other things going on at the service such as words from the minister or rabbi, music and special readings.

It is also important to keep in mind the wishes of the family when delivering a eulogy. Some may expect a longer eulogy, while others may want you to talk for just a few minutes. If you are unsure, just ask them how long they want you to talk.

A eulogy is about remembering and honoring one who has passed on. The length of the eulogy does not matter nearly as much as the quality of the content.
photo credit: dorothy.voorhees